Clarity, Courage, and Confidence

November 12, 2020

Likely the most important assets any of us possess are the parts who lives in our skin. It may be that getting comfortable in our skin is our most important task in this life. While it will not always be comforting, this journey will help us see the dark and light that lives within, for even the most base of parts within are not bad; they just need our help and attention.

Parts like anger, confusion, anxiety, or fear that live within are like little kids; they just want our attention so they can settle down feel heard and seen. Often these parts have taken on roles that were needed to survive abuse, neglect, or other trauma experiences early in life. They probably helped us stay alive by taking on survival behaviors, but as we get older we learn that survival behaviors were imperative to help us stay alive but not too helpful as we transition into adulthood. We can thank our parts for getting us through demanding times but they need unburdening so they can find new roles in adulthood. Parts often take us over, leading us into extreme behaviors (drinking, drugs, sex, or anything that numbs the pain), which works, but only for a short time. Often, they do not enjoy their roles but fear giving them up will bring more pain.

As we pay attention to them, by listening to them, they begin to settle down, feel safe enough to tell their stories, and feel heard and seen, sometimes for the first time ever. A wonderful thing then begins to happen in this process; the Self begin to strengthen to take over the wise (adult) functioning so the parts, often young and immature, can be free from trying to make the adult decisions they were never very good at.

As the Self takes over more of the regular decision making, the parts are free to relax and go play. In time, the whole system tends to settle down and daily functioning becomes more satisfying. We then have the opportunity to grow, finding more clarity for our lives on the inside, then the outside, we grow in courage, and slowly become more confident.

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Hours by appointment only

5100 N. Brookline, Suite 620
Oklahoma City, OK 73112


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